Chibikko: Blog

Thursday, February 08, 2007, ⇒Bdays and their fears and/or Bdayfobia

Hello, my dear friends and whoever reads this piece of crap!!

I have couple of news and couple of weird things. First of all tomorrow is my best friend's Birthday!!! YAY. She is turning 18 and she is all freaked out about it. So what I would like to say and point out is that even though you want to be a kid at heart sometimes, and I know she does as well, I believe there is always a time when you need to show how mature and responsible you are. She is an amazing person with ability to help others and cheer up everybody around her with her presence only. She knows how people act and she know what to expect from them, but even with this gift she is random and always ready to be there for you when you need help or a friend to talk to. She is not just a person who gives up easily; she'll fight till the end and give all 1000000^10000 %. That's the person who is afraid to turn 18 but yet she cannot wait for it. Life is not easy to understand or even comprehend. People change with age and who we really are never leave our heart; some of us have 2 personalities, and I do not mean it as a disorder, I mean it as when a person can be a kid and still be a mature and responsible person when a situation demands it. I believe she is one of those rare people and I believe that she is going to be able to be a kid and an adult in her heart. Thank you for being there for me and for being my best friend.

♥~To Valeria~♥

Thursday, February 01, 2007, ⇒Senseless

I keep on not making any sense to myself. How can it be? How can it be happening to me? Am I really just lying to myself? Trying to escape the truth of self-assessment? Sounds like an assessment of property, but isn't knowledge all we have? Something that keeps us alive, and something that stays with us throughout all our life. It is one true thing that never goes away, when others come and go. Knowledge is always there.

But what can I give? Nothing..absolutely nothing. I lie to myself trying to convince my own mind that it'll be fine. Yeah, it will. Some day, somewhere, it all will be fine, but for now, it's senseless.

It's senseless simply because there is nothing that may help me realize that there is any sense in anything anymore. Sound suicidal, but no, I won't be a stupid one and try committing a suicide. Why would you take away your own life, when you can change it? You can, I can. I know, I do. But then again, am I lying to myself trying to convince again and again. Stupidity grows and self-confidence goes lower and lower. Does it really? Ambition? what about ambition? It all makes no sense to me at all.

Senseless.