Thursday, February 01, 2007, ⇒Senseless
I keep on not making any sense to myself. How can it be? How can it be happening to me? Am I really just lying to myself? Trying to escape the truth of self-assessment? Sounds like an assessment of property, but isn't knowledge all we have? Something that keeps us alive, and something that stays with us throughout all our life. It is one true thing that never goes away, when others come and go. Knowledge is always there.
But what can I give? Nothing..absolutely nothing. I lie to myself trying to convince my own mind that it'll be fine. Yeah, it will. Some day, somewhere, it all will be fine, but for now, it's senseless.
It's senseless simply because there is nothing that may help me realize that there is any sense in anything anymore. Sound suicidal, but no, I won't be a stupid one and try committing a suicide. Why would you take away your own life, when you can change it? You can, I can. I know, I do. But then again, am I lying to myself trying to convince again and again. Stupidity grows and self-confidence goes lower and lower. Does it really? Ambition? what about ambition? It all makes no sense to me at all.
Senseless.